Unfinished Projects

Ever since I moved in I have disliked our front door....eye sore! I didn't get a before picture of the last screen door.  It was a beaut. The door was painted white and the half moon up top was yellow because of the sun and it was painted with primer only. Every day I would walk into the house using the door it was a reminder of an unfinished project. 

I attended a 2 day seminar and during the seminar it was suggested to take a project that weighs on us and complete it so I came home and told corby I want to paint the front door and replace the storm door. Do you know what? It was about $350 and a day of work and BAM project done. I will never let a project eat at me again like this front door.

Doesn't that fresh paint and open storm door scream welcome home come on in and relax!

Today

So, I have been pretty hush hush about my true raw feelings pertaining to Teesh and her departure. Teesh flew out this week, Thursday to be exact. We were able to talk to her for about 45 minutes on the phone. I had to share my time with the rest of the family(dang it) The time was amazing and soothed my heart so much. Teesh sounds so happy. She has direction in her life and knows what she wants. Can't ask for more than that, Right? She left the MTC at 3:30 am from the Trax Station in Provo, took the Front Runner to the Airport and got all checked in. She called our home line about 7:10 ( I was freaking out a bit because she told me it would be around 5-6 am) It was so good to hear her voice on the other end. She was with a group of missionaries who are her family now. She loves those sisters and elders, how sweet it is to see her grow. I love that she has developed life long relationships. Our phone call was disconnected multiple times but in the end we were able to talk to our hearts content. Of course, I would have loved to talk to her for the entire day but I don't get all my wishes now do I.
Teesh flew from Salt Lake to Portland then to Tokyo and then Manila. Teesh was only able to text in Portland due to time but tried to call from Tokyo. I did not know what time she would be calling so I kept my phone close by all day. When it was bed time, I kept my phone right by my head and stayed up until 11:15 PM I dozed off and woke up at 1:24 only to see a missed call from Teesh an hour ago. I was confused as to why my phone did not wake me. After some investigation it was determined the ringer was turned down to lowest point(UGH) I listened to Teesh's voice mail and it ripped my heart out. I could tell she was scared and really wanted to talk. I am so sorry sweetie. I wasn't there. I tried. I really tried.
When they arrived in Manila there was no service so no more phone calls. Now I have to wait until May 9th when we get to Skype. Best Mother's Day/Birthday gift of the 2015 year.
So what does it feel like to have a daughter serving a mission? Let me tell you.
I get asked a lot of stupid questions and I want to smack a few souls(I refrain)
My few favorite questions I get.
1) How are you doing? I respond good. What I want to say is do you know what death feels like? That's how I feel. I feel like I am going through the grieving process
2)Well, would you want her to be someplace else? Yes, actually I want her next to me. I want my child who I have taken care of for the past 19 1/2 years. I want to communicate with her. I want to be part of her daily life again. So yes, I want her by me. Now this isn't about me. I support her where she is so how I feel or where my desires lie is completely irrelevant.
3)Good thing you have other children. Yes, good thing because any of the children are disposal just to be replaced with another, right?

So this is how I felt the first few weeks. I have simmered. I have less pain daily and I have less intolerance for others who have never sent a missionary. I don't expect you to understand it. I get it. Until Teesh, I thought well having a missionary is just so spiritual and upbeat and there is no sadness. Hello! Boy was I ever wrong. 
The growth that will happen during the next 18 months is priceless and worth all my agony(Teesh's too) but the daily loneliness is real. I have never felt the pain of loneliness like I have these past 6 weeks.

Anyway, a few friends have reached out to me(tender mercy) one brought me lunch and let me cry on her shoulder. She did not judge me. She just listened. She did not tell me it would be OK because that doesn't help. She just let me cry. She was a God Send. Thank Goodness for friends.
I received several texts from my siblings asking how I was doing and telling me they understand. I appreciated their thoughtful texts because I knew they did understand. Some of my siblings have missionaries currently out and others have recently returned ones. We missionary mommas get each other like no one else can. Boy it is tough! Best kept secret in the Church those first few weeks of missionary life. 

So after weeks of laying in my daughters bed crying my eyes out. Sniffing her clothes and just soaking up her room I am finally pulling myself together and joining real life again. Sorry my sweet other daughters, I know you have been given less than you deserve. I am back! I am stronger than ever and we will conquer these next 16 1/2 months like the strong women we are.
Thanks for listening to a very sad cried out momma.
And do me a favor, next time you see a missionary momma, especially one who has only been a missionary momma for a few months, don't ask them how they are doing. Hug the dickens out of them and tell them they are loved.

So much Beauty

Can you believe Teesh has 5 weeks under her belt? Only 73 to go!!!!!!!!! I am not sure is that is motivational or not to count down that way. Holy Moly 73 weeks is still so far away.

The sister in the patterned black shirt, hiccups every 20 minutes or more. Teesh said it cracks everyone up. I love that Teesh is surrounded by humor

I have been blessed to have a friend that entered the MTC as a senior couple, which means she has different rules than the young sisters, which means, she hugs Teesh daily(or at least when she sees her) and takes pictures for me. Oh how this warms my heart. Look at that smile? Does it not scream perfection? My friend said, Teesh is thriving and full of the spirit. She said she always has a smile on her face and is absolutely happy. Nothing means more than those words, OK maybe the email I receive weekly means as much;) I am so so happy to know that Teesh is happy.

 Teesh's companion is Sister Gibbs. She is from Colorado. She is on the left hand side of Teesh. Teesh said that her companion is great. That she helps Teesh to not get turned around in the MTC. Apparently the buildings all look alike. Thanks for the added direction Sister Gibbs, hugs!

Then another evening I received a text from an unknown number with this beauty attached. Happiness!!! It was from a recently returned missionary that served in the Olongapo mission and was performing service in the MTC. She acted like an investigator and Teesh and the other sisters taught her. She sent me this photo with an attachment that read,

"Your daughter is doing amazing" Yet again, another tender mercy. Thank you Thank you.

Teesh and Sister Kay Cherrington(my ward member) Her and her husband leave Monday, the 2nd to London England Mission. She will be serving with the YSA over there. Kay is the kind of lady that I hope to be some day. She is amazing on every level. Thanks so much Sister Cherrington for the photos and drop off packages. What an amazing blessing you have been in my life.

Can you see my Teesh LaReesh in all these gorgeous heads? These are a few sisters all serving in Philippines but not all the same mission. Such an amazing group of ladies that Teesh has grown to love with all her heart.

Sister Blake(the one taking the photo) has come down with a heart palpitation. She might not be able to fly out on the 5th with the rest of the group. Teesh and others are fasting for her to heal quickly.

These photo do my heart so much good. I really did not anticipate having a missionary would be so hard. Boy was  I ever wrong. Don't get me wrong. I want Teesh to serve, it just has been hard to not talk and see her daily. God Speed Sister and Elders. The Lord's work is waiting. Go Get 'Em

Sweet Hearts

Sierra was asked to Sweet Hearts by EJ. 

EJ wore a man bun, which just topped off the evening for Sierra. "Love me some man bun", she said. Ha ha

I wasn't able to support Sierra like I have in the past. I had a previous engagement and was unable to leave early. So enjoy these photo that I stole from Sierra, who stole them from others who were there.

Are you really kidding me? All this beauty in one girl? I love you Sierra. Your dress is amazing, then again, really anything you wear would look amazing.

Sierra cut off about 4 inches from her hair. I love it! She was unsure at first but now also loves it.

After the dance Sierra went to Boondocks and then over to Riley's house for ice cream and some game playing. The count down is on, only 3 more dances for this beauty. Graduation is just around the corner.

Ada's Culminating Event

Look at little Miss Ada Rae. She was so excited for the is culminating event. She was given a part to memorize and memorize she did. She practiced and practiced and day of the performance she shined like no other.

Ada's part went as follows:

There's platypus, with beak and fur. Hopping kangaroo. The cute cuddly koala(bear) just to name a few.

Ada with one of her teachers, Mrs Odulio. Mrs. Odulio is from the Philippines but not Olongapo

Ada with her other teacher, Mrs. Corbett.

Ada and her friend Kaylee have a lot in common. Both older sisters are serving in the Philippines. Kaylee's sister comes home in June this year. Kind of jealous not gonna lie.

I love the natural smiles and authentic little souls that 5 year olds possess. We can learn a lot from these cuties

Sporting a new look

I volunteer in the girls classes at school every week. A few weeks back, I caught Bria squinting to see the board. I made an appointment that very day. A few days later we went to the appointment.......The verdict is ............

Some one was a bit excited to get her new glasses. She got to chose a case too. High light all day I am telling you.

Breeta has the squeakiest glasses in town. She cleans them approximately every 15 seconds. She is one proud girl to be the newest member in the glasses club. I love her excitement and her thrill. Now, let's just see how long it lasts before she is begging for contacts.

MTC Days

Elder Richard G. Scott.

 "Remember, the Lord has called you to succeed, not to fail. Sometimes, it may seem terribly hard, but He wants you to grow. He will not abandon you. He inspired your call. He knows who you are. He knows what you need. He knows what He wants you to become, and the mission experience is an opportunity He has given you to discover things about yourself that you never knew... capacities you never knew you had, and the capacity to love and serve which will sustain you throughout the rest of your life. Remember, you have been called, and He will fit the task to your capabilities."