"Fill your life with service to others. As you lose your life in the service of Father in Heaven’s children, Satan’s temptations lose power in your life."—Richard G. Scott  |
"My promise to you who pray and serve the Lord cannot be that you will have every blessing you may wish for yourself and your family. But I can promise you that the Savior will draw close to you and bless you and your family with what is best. You will have the comfort of His love and feel the answer of His drawing closer as you reach out your arms in giving service to others. As you bind up the wounds of those in need and offer the cleansing of His Atonement to those who sorrow in sin, the Lord’s power will sustain you. His arms are outstretched with yours to succor and bless the children of our Heavenly Father, including those in your family."—Henry B. Eyring, " |
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Answers
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Unfinished Projects
Ever since I moved in I have disliked our front door....eye sore! I didn't get a before picture of the last screen door. It was a beaut. The door was painted white and the half moon up top was yellow because of the sun and it was painted with primer only. Every day I would walk into the house using the door it was a reminder of an unfinished project.
I attended a 2 day seminar and during the seminar it was suggested to take a project that weighs on us and complete it so I came home and told corby I want to paint the front door and replace the storm door. Do you know what? It was about $350 and a day of work and BAM project done. I will never let a project eat at me again like this front door.
Doesn't that fresh paint and open storm door scream welcome home come on in and relax!
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Today
So, I have been pretty hush hush about my true raw feelings pertaining to Teesh and her departure. Teesh flew out this week, Thursday to be exact. We were able to talk to her for about 45 minutes on the phone. I had to share my time with the rest of the family(dang it) The time was amazing and soothed my heart so much. Teesh sounds so happy. She has direction in her life and knows what she wants. Can't ask for more than that, Right? She left the MTC at 3:30 am from the Trax Station in Provo, took the Front Runner to the Airport and got all checked in. She called our home line about 7:10 ( I was freaking out a bit because she told me it would be around 5-6 am) It was so good to hear her voice on the other end. She was with a group of missionaries who are her family now. She loves those sisters and elders, how sweet it is to see her grow. I love that she has developed life long relationships. Our phone call was disconnected multiple times but in the end we were able to talk to our hearts content. Of course, I would have loved to talk to her for the entire day but I don't get all my wishes now do I.
Teesh flew from Salt Lake to Portland then to Tokyo and then Manila. Teesh was only able to text in Portland due to time but tried to call from Tokyo. I did not know what time she would be calling so I kept my phone close by all day. When it was bed time, I kept my phone right by my head and stayed up until 11:15 PM I dozed off and woke up at 1:24 only to see a missed call from Teesh an hour ago. I was confused as to why my phone did not wake me. After some investigation it was determined the ringer was turned down to lowest point(UGH) I listened to Teesh's voice mail and it ripped my heart out. I could tell she was scared and really wanted to talk. I am so sorry sweetie. I wasn't there. I tried. I really tried.
When they arrived in Manila there was no service so no more phone calls. Now I have to wait until May 9th when we get to Skype. Best Mother's Day/Birthday gift of the 2015 year.
So what does it feel like to have a daughter serving a mission? Let me tell you.
I get asked a lot of stupid questions and I want to smack a few souls(I refrain)
My few favorite questions I get.
1) How are you doing? I respond good. What I want to say is do you know what death feels like? That's how I feel. I feel like I am going through the grieving process
2)Well, would you want her to be someplace else? Yes, actually I want her next to me. I want my child who I have taken care of for the past 19 1/2 years. I want to communicate with her. I want to be part of her daily life again. So yes, I want her by me. Now this isn't about me. I support her where she is so how I feel or where my desires lie is completely irrelevant.
3)Good thing you have other children. Yes, good thing because any of the children are disposal just to be replaced with another, right?
So this is how I felt the first few weeks. I have simmered. I have less pain daily and I have less intolerance for others who have never sent a missionary. I don't expect you to understand it. I get it. Until Teesh, I thought well having a missionary is just so spiritual and upbeat and there is no sadness. Hello! Boy was I ever wrong.
The growth that will happen during the next 18 months is priceless and worth all my agony(Teesh's too) but the daily loneliness is real. I have never felt the pain of loneliness like I have these past 6 weeks.
Anyway, a few friends have reached out to me(tender mercy) one brought me lunch and let me cry on her shoulder. She did not judge me. She just listened. She did not tell me it would be OK because that doesn't help. She just let me cry. She was a God Send. Thank Goodness for friends.
I received several texts from my siblings asking how I was doing and telling me they understand. I appreciated their thoughtful texts because I knew they did understand. Some of my siblings have missionaries currently out and others have recently returned ones. We missionary mommas get each other like no one else can. Boy it is tough! Best kept secret in the Church those first few weeks of missionary life.
So after weeks of laying in my daughters bed crying my eyes out. Sniffing her clothes and just soaking up her room I am finally pulling myself together and joining real life again. Sorry my sweet other daughters, I know you have been given less than you deserve. I am back! I am stronger than ever and we will conquer these next 16 1/2 months like the strong women we are.
Thanks for listening to a very sad cried out momma.
And do me a favor, next time you see a missionary momma, especially one who has only been a missionary momma for a few months, don't ask them how they are doing. Hug the dickens out of them and tell them they are loved.
Teesh flew from Salt Lake to Portland then to Tokyo and then Manila. Teesh was only able to text in Portland due to time but tried to call from Tokyo. I did not know what time she would be calling so I kept my phone close by all day. When it was bed time, I kept my phone right by my head and stayed up until 11:15 PM I dozed off and woke up at 1:24 only to see a missed call from Teesh an hour ago. I was confused as to why my phone did not wake me. After some investigation it was determined the ringer was turned down to lowest point(UGH) I listened to Teesh's voice mail and it ripped my heart out. I could tell she was scared and really wanted to talk. I am so sorry sweetie. I wasn't there. I tried. I really tried.
When they arrived in Manila there was no service so no more phone calls. Now I have to wait until May 9th when we get to Skype. Best Mother's Day/Birthday gift of the 2015 year.
So what does it feel like to have a daughter serving a mission? Let me tell you.
I get asked a lot of stupid questions and I want to smack a few souls(I refrain)
My few favorite questions I get.
1) How are you doing? I respond good. What I want to say is do you know what death feels like? That's how I feel. I feel like I am going through the grieving process
2)Well, would you want her to be someplace else? Yes, actually I want her next to me. I want my child who I have taken care of for the past 19 1/2 years. I want to communicate with her. I want to be part of her daily life again. So yes, I want her by me. Now this isn't about me. I support her where she is so how I feel or where my desires lie is completely irrelevant.
3)Good thing you have other children. Yes, good thing because any of the children are disposal just to be replaced with another, right?
So this is how I felt the first few weeks. I have simmered. I have less pain daily and I have less intolerance for others who have never sent a missionary. I don't expect you to understand it. I get it. Until Teesh, I thought well having a missionary is just so spiritual and upbeat and there is no sadness. Hello! Boy was I ever wrong.
The growth that will happen during the next 18 months is priceless and worth all my agony(Teesh's too) but the daily loneliness is real. I have never felt the pain of loneliness like I have these past 6 weeks.
Anyway, a few friends have reached out to me(tender mercy) one brought me lunch and let me cry on her shoulder. She did not judge me. She just listened. She did not tell me it would be OK because that doesn't help. She just let me cry. She was a God Send. Thank Goodness for friends.
I received several texts from my siblings asking how I was doing and telling me they understand. I appreciated their thoughtful texts because I knew they did understand. Some of my siblings have missionaries currently out and others have recently returned ones. We missionary mommas get each other like no one else can. Boy it is tough! Best kept secret in the Church those first few weeks of missionary life.
So after weeks of laying in my daughters bed crying my eyes out. Sniffing her clothes and just soaking up her room I am finally pulling myself together and joining real life again. Sorry my sweet other daughters, I know you have been given less than you deserve. I am back! I am stronger than ever and we will conquer these next 16 1/2 months like the strong women we are.
Thanks for listening to a very sad cried out momma.
And do me a favor, next time you see a missionary momma, especially one who has only been a missionary momma for a few months, don't ask them how they are doing. Hug the dickens out of them and tell them they are loved.
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