Grandma Hansen came down for Leticia's graduation from Highland High, on Wednesday the 5th of June. While she was here, I informed her that for Leticia's birthday that Friday it would be OK if she did not want to make the trip seeing how she had made the trip today and would be making it on Saturday for Malia's ballet performance, plus Gavan, another grandchild, was graduating from high school on Friday and we did not want to put her in a situation where she might have to choose between families. She assured me she had it all under control and she could make it work. So we made plans for Teesh's 18th birthday and she went home.
Friday rolled around, no Grandma, finally around 6PM Teesh called to find out where Grandma was as we were getting ready to make the pizza Teesh had requested. Kathleen answered and said she was staying home hoping HyLee, a son who lives in Idaho, might stop in and she had a luncheon she had been invited to Saturday morning. Teesh said, "OK, and they hung up".
Saturday afternoon, Kathleen called Corby to find out if we hated her and if she was welcome in our home. Corby assured her we were fine and asked when we could expect her for the ballet performance. She met us at the middle school but seemed super distant and cool. Teesh became very quiet as time went on and I noticed she kept away from Grandma, which is super odd as they are two peas in a pod.
We invited everyone who supported Malia back to our home for dessert and games. Kathleen came but stayed in the front room. Kathleen had brought Leticia her birthday gift but Teesh came home and went right down to her room. We asked if she was interested in opening her gift but she declined. That made Kathleen upset so when Corby arrived a bit later with Malia, Kathleen left very upset. Corby went out front to discuss matters privately. 11/2 hours later he came back inside, looking exhausted and frustrated. Long story short, Kathleen told Corby all of his siblings(Kathleen loves to say all her children to give her more support with a decision she doesn't have the guts to just say) told her she should not take the trip to Europe with Leticia. Side note, we gave Leticia a trip to England with her grandma for graduating from High School with High Honors. We were paying for Teesh and grandma was paying for herself. They would be traveling buddies. Kathleen proceeded to tell Corby that we pressure her to do things she doesn't want to, that we give her two months advance notice of upcoming events and that makes her feel like if something better comes along she doesn't have the right to change her mind with us without getting in trouble. Blah Blah, get the drift about the conversation.
Corby came in upset and said that he gave his mother a week to decide what she wanted to do about the England trip. When the week was up, we tried calling her multiple times throughout the week but were unsuccessful in reaching her. We left multiple messages but heard nothing. Together Corby and I decided that we needed to cancel the tour. So the decision was made. We lost out on $147.00 because of Kathleen changing her mind. Special special!
Troy, Corby's oldest brother, called to hear "our side" of the story a few days later. A lot of the Hansen's are side people. They have to convince everyone that they have done nothing wrong and that they are right. We kept that conversation short we Troy as we don't want to spend a lot of energy with hearing others opinions. Bottom line, we asked Troy to encourage his mother to take our phone call, so later that evening Kathleen did finally take our call. Corby and her spoke for over two hours. I could hear her yelling at Corby and I wasn't even close to him. To her defense, she speaks loud but for this convo it was yelling. After two hours, I told Corby to find out what she wanted from us. Her request was this, we put too much pressure on her and she doesn't want to be invited in our family plans ever again. She said she wanted us out of her life and to just leave her alone. She said we are dead to her. She just can't handle the pressure we put on her so Corby said if that is what you want I will respect it. I want you to be included in my families life but I will respect your wishes. He hung up and that was the last time we have spoken to her. Since then she has sent us multiple items in the mail. For each one, we ignore.
We have discussed it with our girls that she is choosing to not be in our lives anymore but we love her in spite of how she treats us. Teesh has taken it the hardest as Grandma hasn't even had the decency to call Teesh and explain why she doesn't want to go on the trip or why she blew Teesh off for her 18th birthday. Simple communication could have solved so much but Kathleen has chosen to toss us aside. We love Grandma. We forgive Grandma for the mean hurtful things she spreads about our family to others. We know Grandma is hurting inside to be acting this way. We pray for her. So there you have it, why Grandma Hansen is no longer in our families celebrations.
We hope only for the best for Kathleen. We love you and hope you find the peace you deserve Grandma Hansen.
Here is a sampling of the hate mail we have received in the past few weeks!
She sent a nice card addressed to Resident
read the sweet card, sorry it is sideways. It reads Live between the sunshine and the flowers
but left it blank. Thanks Grandma for the card that I can reuse.
This has to be the favorite of all the hate mail thus far. Sierra asked if Grandma was trying to kill all of us girls since there is 5 bullets coming out of the gun. I don't know Sierra but I certainly hope not. We love Grandma in spite of her meanness.
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