Expectations

Today I share my feelings of what I am learning and struggling with. Expectations! Are they fair? Are they right? Should we be able to create a scenario in our mind of what others will do and then be allowed to be disappointed when others choose different than our path? Which by the way, do we even tell the other individual what we are planning or expecting? Is it fair that we push our agenda on others? I say it is a case by case, day by day topic. Sometimes yes you do something for someone else because you love them. Force shouldn't be a part of it. Shaming and criticism should never be present, one should be free to follow their heart. So I feel if I want to fulfill another's expectations I should but not for any other reason then it is my heart's desire

I am enrolled in a course where I am learning to control my mind. The class is awesome. I am learning so many powerful things. Expectations is part of this "ah ha" revelation. I am guilty of telling people what I don't want, but not what I do want. I have sincerely tried to be more aware and it works. Telling people what you want usually ends with less frustration. It doesn't mean people will do your every whim but it does at least allow open communication and reduces greatly the expectation failure. 

Another challenging avenue is people saying they will do one thing but end up doing another. Is this a lack of integrity? Is this just absent mindedness? How much do you blow off and when do you call them out? I don't have the answers, this will be a life long journey that will evolve.

Scenario 1: We had been to a swimming party where a dessert to share was made and brought. The party was in the evening, so arriving home was close to 10PM. A family member was a bit stressed out due to an upcoming obligation that had been procrastinated. It was requested that I help with the bathing process or clean up the mess that was created making the dessert. I opted for the clean up and one of my daughters offered to do the bathing process. I was frustrated to watch as this individual did not do as they said and work on their obligation but rather fill up the next hour and a half with other little projects, ie) sort the mail, get the car washed, etc.
I went to bed frustrated. Next morning there was a discussion and seeing eye to eye on the topic has yet to happen. So I ask you what to do. Do I have the right to have feelings of frustration? Do I need to see it for, I did my part and what others do whether it is keeping their word or not is not my issue? I must think this out a bit more. In the end it is expectations again. I expect others to keep their word. I feel frustrated when they don't and it changes how I interact with them. I feel less valued by individuals that don't keep their word. Is that their issue or mine?

Scenario 2: Attended a family reunion. Lot of options to participate with the reunion. I love to get reacquainted with faces that I haven't seen(probably my favorite part of reunions) I enjoy sitting and talking. Others enjoy the activities that are offered. Everyone happy, right? No, expectations creep in because the ones who enjoy activities expect(there's that word) those who want to get reacquainted to do something different and then they are frustrated because what they thought would happen and what did happen did not match up. Resentment and Frustration continue to grow. Who's right who's wrong? Oh Expectations!
Relationships are strained due to expectations. I believe most don't say anything just hold it inside hoping to get over their hurt neglected feelings. Well, I have learned a lot and what I know for sure is feelings don't go away. Feelings can not be buried. Feelings unaddressed fester and grow into physical problems, health problems and destroy loving relationships.

My goal is to say what I mean. Share with others what I need from them. Be open when others actions offend me. Now just because I am offended doesn't mean that others did anything wrong, it just means that I am acknowledging that hey I have an issue that I am not going to ignore anymore.
I will let you know if this new path generates different results for me. I am a happy person overall. I am not stating otherwise, I am just looking to live on the next level of happiness. Wish me well!!!!