Teenagers and Toddlers

I have really really struggled with whether or not I should post this, but I feel like if I am going to be real, this is necessary. Blogs are suppose to be all positive and great, right? and for the sake of why I blog, it should be because it is our family record and I don't want to be old and grey and read this and say "wow, was I really that miserable" but in keeping with reality I also don't want to think "I know my life wasn't perfect so why don't I read about the imperfections every once in awhile". So for the most part, life is rainbows and butterflies but for this post, I am going to throw in some witches, goblins and spiders, YUCK!

First let me say, I love being a mother, wife, sister, daughter and all my other hats I wear at this time, but the day to day is just so draining that I need to vent my frustrations. So please don't judge me as I write my feelings and please don't feel sorry for me and bring me cookies (well..... bring the cookies maybe :) just let me share and love me in spite of my imperfections.
Being a mother of teenagers and toddlers has been so hard. I feel pulled and twisted everyday. When I keep the younger ones happy, the older ones suffer and vice versa. I feel I am constantly juggling objects and more and more balls get put in the mix and I am just dropping more than I can keep in the air. I spend so much of my day carpooling, running errands, trying to maintain a house and doing the laundry that I just have no time for the things that should be in my life.

laundry for 7 busy individuals, weekly. Also, notice the empty toilet paper roll, a pet peeve I have. Nothing worse than sitting down and realizing you have nothing to wipe with. Just another daily occurrence in a house full of estrogen.

 I am not able to attend playgroup or do library time with my little ones because the older girls always have a meeting or a need that pulls me in that direction so the little ones ride around most of their day doing all the boring things they shouldn't have to do. I feel super guilty about this but hopefully Bria and Ada will understand and I do squeeze in a trip to a park to keep my guilt in check every so often. I make a conscience decision to try to just do something for them but the guilt still seeps in a lot.

     OK, onto the next topic. I am so lonely! I have my friends at the gym and I would be absolutely lost without them.  I have some dear friends that live a distance away but for the neighborhood gathering and day to day stuff I am simply lonely. I have a few friends in my neighborhood that I am truly indebted to and couldn't have made it this far without but still at the end of the day I am lonely.
Corby works a lot. He has a super time consuming calling and is just not available for this high maintenance gal. He doesn't always see my perspective because he is so introverted. Marriage is hard most days but I wouldn't want to share my life with anyone else but Corby. He is such a strength to me even if some of his habits are really hard to endure day to day. I am perfect so he would not have the same to say about me......ya right!
Anyway, the reason for this post is so I can remember this time and think "wow, those days were hard but so worth it". Teenagers are draining. They are awesome on one hand because you can speak "adult" with them but on the other hand, they don't always have the logic button in progress. Toddlers need your constant undivided attention and you get very little in return. I feel pulled constantly and let's face it, I am just not all that flexible. I know this is a season and all seasons have an end but for now being in the thick of it, it seems the end might not ever come.
I love being a mother and wife. I never wanted anything more than to be a mother of 5 girls(interesting, huh) 6 boys(didn't happen) and 10 babies(obviously I didn't fully understand babies grow up). My mom reminds me of this sometimes and it makes me smile. Motherhood is just plain hard. When I was first becoming a mother I never thought past 5 years old. I would worry about if I could care for my girls properly and protect and teach them but it never went past that. Then kindergarten happened and friends became part of the scene and I realized there is a lot more to this motherhood thing. Now, I have teenagers and it stresses me out. Comforting them when they didn't get invited to a party that other friends did or consoling them when they haven't been asked out on a date and they are eligible. My favorite at the moment is allowing them to make their own choices even if it is not what I would choose for them. It is hard to let them be individuals, I want to do everything for them and keep them in bubble wrap. I know I can't, this life is about trial and error but the error part is hard to sit back and watch your child suffer from a choice you could have changed but didn't because of a little thing called agency. I know I make a lot of mistakes and will continue to make more during my motherhood era but I am trying and hopefully one day my efforts will be recognized. It is hard to not make your kids do what you want and allowing them to be individuals who might not follow your path. That is hard for a control freak such as myself.
Little children are hard day to day, but hey, if they don't act the way you want, you  put them "in time out" or give them a little swat, but those methods don't work after a certain age, so word of counsel don't let your kids grow past the age of 5 and your life will always smell like a bed of roses.
I wouldn't trade any of the hard times in my life for I truly understand the trials make us who we need to become but I would discuss the time frame because come on people some of my hard trials have been going on for years and I am exhausted! Thanks for listening now go out and conquer the world of mothering and get back to me on some good suggestions when you come across them.