Bria Paige Hansen

After 5 years of heart break, I took a test and sure enough positive. I was scared to be happy or get excited because I knew where this road could end up. I kept my pregnancy with you Bria a secret from everyone but Corby and just prayed and prayed. 
I tried to be so careful and do everything perfect so that this time I could keep you. But like as before the bleeding began, I was crushed. I remember laying in bed sobbing and telling the Lord please please allow me to keep this baby. I got up with a hopeful heart but a doubting one at the same time. This particular day I was scheduled to visit teach a new lady that was a nurse up at LDS Hospital. She worked in the NICU(Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). I did not want to go but the appointment had been schedule so I pulled up my big girl panties and pasted on a smile and headed off to do the right thing, visiting teaching.
I tried to not cry but I just couldn't hold my tears back during our visit and of course that lead to questions and then what happened next changed my life forever. This lady,  Liz Nicoll, will forever be a dear friend to me. I told her why I was crying and she called her doctor, Doctor Flint Porter, who worked at the Maternal Fetal Clinic at LDS Hospital. He actually was the director of this specialized office. Liz pulled some strings and got me in first thing the following morning and he gave me options. I don't recall all that was offered but the one that stood out and felt right was to give me shots twice a day in the abdomen. The shots had to be close to my navel every morning and evening. It hurt so bad but if it kept me pregnant there was nothing I wouldn't endure.
I met with the doctor every week and did ultra sounds and testing until I reached 27 weeks. By this point, myself and Doctor Porter both felt I had made it through the critical zone and that this pregnancy would most likely result in a full term baby. Those words were as sweet as honey to my ears. Finally my trial was over. Finally, the baby I had wanted for 5 plus years was for sure joining our family.
When I was 5 months along I began telling people I was pregnant and not just getting fat. I still held back getting excited due to my disappointment so many times prior. From 28 to 34 weeks my pregnancy was normal like I knew. We decided at one of the ultra sounds to find our your gender. The tech asked, "so, do you have barbies or bob the builder at home", we replied barbies. She smiled and said well add a few more barbies because you are having a girl. I did not care one bit what your gender was. I just loved seeing that placenta look healthy and that I could hear your heartbeat.
At 35 weeks gestation, I breathed a huge sigh of relief, I knew everything would be OK. Bria could survive out side of me. I finally would receive the baby I had prayed for so long. I can't put into words how much happiness I experienced at that moment. But all happiness ended rather soon for me as I was so uncomfortable and could hardly breathe so at one of my weekly appointments (Which side note here but let me tell you going to the doc every week sure makes for a l-o-n-g 9 months) I asked the nurse what was going on. She felt around on my stomach and said your baby is breech. Are you kidding me? So what does that mean. Oh we will bring you in one week to your due date and give you a shot and simply turn the baby. Oh, OK, that sounds fun.
I hoped that Bria would naturally flip and we would forego all that shot stuff, don't you think two shots a day was enough shots for one stomach, I do! I even went to a hypnotist to try to get Bria to flip but she wanted nothing to do with that whole mess.
Well, like all good stories at 38 weeks I arrived at LDS Hospital for my little procedure. It is called an aversion but we shall refer to this procedure as torture.
First, the nurse did an ultrasound to make sure Bria was still incorrectly positioned and then she did an amniocentesis to make sure Bria could survive if the procedure put me into labor and then she hooked me up to the non-stress test machine for an hour to make sure Bria could handle the procedure. Right before the torture began, I received my shot to relax my muscles. It hurt so bad, but not quite as bad as the procedure would I would later find out.
I was taken into a surgery type room. There were two doctors and two nurses. One nurse held the ultrasound wand on my stomach while the other nurse was available for doc orders then the two doctors both went on opposite sides of my bed and tried to turn my baby. They would tell me to take deep breaths and they literally would dig their fingers into my stomach and try to turn Bria. After 35 minutes they both said, well this baby is not moving. We will schedule your Cesarean section in one week. My stomach was bruised literally bruised for a week. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to do anything. I was so sad to know my delivery wouldn't be natural.
My due date was September 17th and so I was sent home to go into labor naturally only to know I would eventually end up with a c-section. I never even had one contraction because Bria remained high in my ribs the entire time. For c-sections the doctors will allow you to go one week early. Not one week and one day, just one week so I scheduled my surgery for September 10th. The girls were all so excited. We dropped them off at Grandma and Grandpa Ellis' condo, Cabin in the city, that is what Grandpa calls it, silly grandpa. Since the condo was so close to LDS Hospital, my parents would bring the three girls up when the surgery was complete. 
I entered the hospital at 9 AM. I was placed in a gown and Corby was given some attractive scrubs. I was wheeled to the operating room and given drugs. It was awful. My face itched so bad. My anethesiolgoist was great to tell me what was happening and I was freezing cold. The operating room has to be a certain temperature to remain sterile. Brrrrr I'm hanging out on the table buck naked freezing. It was a sight for sure. There were probably 20 students all observing my surgery. I don't recall being asked if I minded but with LDS hopsital being a student hospital unless you specifically say no students you are a guinea pig. No biggie but it was a little embarrassing.
The best part was hearing Bria cry for the first time. She survived! The doctor laid her on my chest and I got to look into her eyes. She was beautiful. Bria weighed 7lbs 15oz and 19" long. She was my fattest and shortest baby so far. I mentioned that and one of the nurses said don't let her hear you say that she will develop a complex;)
After I was stitched up and wheeled to the recovery room the fun began. Apparently I had a reaction to the anesthesia and began puking for 24 hours. I couldn't even sit up straight or I would puke. Now remember I just had my stomach sliced and it wasn't feeling all that great but to use the stomach muscles to puke wasn't fun at all. 
Eventually I got the puking under control and things improved. I would get out of bed every couple of hours and try to walk from my bed to the bathroom(approximately 20 steps) only to succomb to failure because it just hurt too much.
I was in the hospital for 5 days for recovery and I needed every one of them. Usually I am dying to get home but not this go around. The recovery was brutal for me. I tried to do most of my recovery without pain meds and let's just say not a brilliant move on my part. Take the meds they really do help.
When I finally was released and home I had to sleep on the couch the first week because my bed was so high. I would put Bria in a bassinet that had wheels and push her around the house. I looked like an 80 year old grandma and felt like one too.
After a few weeks I returned to normal and began enjoying my sweet sweet little Bria. My heart was so full every time I would look at my baby. My dream finally came true!